The Divorce Ceremony
Rebuilding. Releasing. Evolving
A Divorce ceremony is the other end of a marriage ceremony. You sign a different document, give the rings back and move away from each other.
A Divorce ceremony helps all parties recognise and acknowledge the repurposing of the relationship dynamics. And what this alteration means for the couple, the children, family, and friends.
It is often deeply personal and spiritual, intended to help the split couple and their families move past disappointment, anger, and hurt. Releasing everyone from the past so they can start anew. It can help to remove the stigma of divorce by clearly marking the end of the marriage.
A Divorce ceremony can involve one or both parties.
“You get better by being better;
Not being bitter.
Bitterness is an attachment to the past,
Being better is an investment in your future.”
There are two ways of approaching a divorce ceremony.
1. One focuses on negativity, bitterness!
2. The other focuses on healing, forgiving, grief, and moving forward.
The benefit of the second option is it can be a life affirming opportunity.
It can be a comforting time, reassure yourself and the ex that broken hearts will heal and that you are both worthy of love.
It’s a peg in the ground. It is a statement saying, “this is over” and that offers closure.
It’s a chance for friends and family to also let go of past hurt and see the couple as individuals again.
Its an opportunity to ask friends and family to support you as you move forward. Thus, reminding everyone that you are looking to the future and the promise it holds.
It’s also a way for the couple to communicate their respect / support for each other. To emphasize what their new relationship will look like now. And to re-commit as co-parents to their children; reaffirming that the children will always be import to them both.
From the broken, let something positive grow.
Here are some things to consider when planning a divorce ceremony.
What do you want the ceremony to be about? What are you wanting to achieve by having the ceremony? Consider the following, e.g.:
Transitioning
Healing [rifts among family and friends that divorce can cause]
Forgiveness and letting go
Acknowledgement of the good, what you have learnt, what you valued - even as the marriage is ending.
The tone can range from casual, fun, to something more serious or a mixture. Who you invite will also reflect the purpose and tone of the ceremony. As well the location, enactments, and other planning decisions.